Reflection


blog post
The sun was bearing down making the deck surface temperature in the low or middle 80s, and I was dressed in jeans, sweatshirt, wool socks, and a wide-brim hat. One would more likely expect to see someone catching the ebbing rainy season rays bear-chested in swimming shorts on such a day. Who in their right mind 1Left mind?wears layers of clothing on the deck when it’s one of the first sunny, over 70°, days of the year?
As my octogenarianism halfway into its fifth year, my mind continues to wander as I wonder. Or could it be that my mind wonders as I wander?

That was four years ago this week. I was sitting on a lawn chair reading Mark Vonnegut’s Just Like Someone Without Mental Illness Only More So. Mark Vonnegut is a highly educated and accomplished man who suffers from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. 2BA, Swarthmore College – MD Harvard Medical School Sometime during the reading, I had a sense of observing of myself from afar. I recorded that someone peering over the fence could think I was mentally ill.

Well, I was in my 8th day of recovery from very invasive intestinal surgery to remove a tangerine-size malignant growth. I purposely and progressively reduced my 30 day supply of Norco (hydrocodone/acetaminophen) intake from 2 tablets every 4 hours to one tablet every five hours. I was tired of being house bound and wanted to have some outside experience. Sitting on the deck seemed to be a good idea, but I didn’t want to fall asleep and get overexposed to the sun. Can you imagine sunburn on and around a row of ten staples on your abdomen? Thus, the overdressing.

Did I really read Vonnegut’s book? As I try to remember my thoughts (or at least some of them) from that time, I consider that perhaps even the reduced dose of Norco had control at the time. So, were my thoughts just one of its side effects mixed with another set of residual drug delusions paired with drowsiness.

I wonder!
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PS: I am blessed by God and am continually grateful for the medical people who acted so quickly on my behalf.

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