Skifoot and She II


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She’s twin, Skifoot, DID NOT have social anxiety disorder! Skifoot’s stated goal was to make the vice principal’s life as miserable as possible, and he shared that goal openly.


Skifoot got his nickname from having size 14 feet. And he was touted by his elementary school as ready for the ninth grade or above when he entered junior high school. Unlike She, Skifoot seldom missed a full day of school. He did, however, miss individual classes but as far as I knew he never left campus. Had DNA technology been as it is today, we could have had proof that the cigarette butts found in different places in the woods at the edge of the school grounds were his.

Except for being caught smoking once each quarter and taking the five-day suspension without protest, Skifoot was never caught doing any other thing punishable. I wasn’t privy to the specifics of what else he did to make the VP miserable, but his actions were often in discussion in the faculty lunchroom.

His only class with me was mechanical drawing in which he had 3 points for the semester. We had access to student scores in standardized tests when meeting with counselor about students having academic problems. Skifoot scored zero on two standardized tests that required broad knowledge. That would be very near impossible unless the test taker knew every correct answer in a multiple-choice test.

Skifoot’s parting remark to me on the last day of school, “Mr. Benson, you messed up my goal of getting all zeros. I’d given him and the other students three points, because I’d given a quiz and added three-free points to make it easier for me to calculate a score in my head.

Unlike his sister She, Skifoot dropped out of school. The last verifiable rumor I heard was that he was making more in cash as a gyppo logger than a starting teacher. An unverifiable rumor was that he had other cash crops at remote locations.


I lost track of the twins, but a former colleague told me he’d heard that Skifoot had been killed in a logging accident and She was doing research at an Ivy League college.


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